How to Build Trust with Emotional Intelligence at Work

Memoirs of a Gully Boys Episode 37: #EmotionalIntelligence – The Key to Meaningful Leadership Leadership isn’t just about strategy and execution; it’s about understanding, connecting with, and inspiring people. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize and manage not only your emotions but also those of others. Over the years, I’ve learned that while technical skills can get you started, it’s emotional intelligence that keeps you ahead. Leading with Empathy During a critical system overhaul, one of my most skilled team members began missing deadlines and appearing disengaged. Instead of reprimanding him, I called for a private conversation. It turned out he was struggling with a personal issue that was affecting his focus. Rather than pushing harder, I offered him flexibility and reassigned some tasks to lighten his load. Within weeks, his performance rebounded, and his gratitude translated into renewed dedication to the project. Lesson 1: Empathy isn’t a weakness in leadership—it’s the strength that builds loyalty and trust. The Art of Active Listening In a client negotiation years ago, tensions were high due to differing expectations. The meeting began with both sides defensive and unwilling to compromise. Instead of countering every point, I focused on actively listening to their concerns without interrupting. Once they felt heard, their stance softened, and we found common ground to move forward. That day, I realized that listening is not just about hearing words—it’s about understanding emotions, intentions, and the bigger picture. Lesson 2: Active listening dissolves barriers and creates pathways for collaboration. Regulating Emotions in High-Stress Situations During a complex software migration, an unexpected system failure triggered panic among stakeholders. As the project lead, I felt the pressure mounting. However, instead of reacting impulsively, I paused, analyzed the situation, and communicated a clear action plan. Keeping emotions in check not only reassured the team but also set the tone for a calm and focused recovery effort. The project was back on track within days, and the team’s confidence grew as a result. Lesson 3: Emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about channeling them effectively to lead under pressure. The Power of Recognition Emotional intelligence also lies in recognizing and appreciating people’s contributions. During a grueling project, I made it a point to acknowledge every team member’s effort, no matter how small. The simple act of recognition boosted morale and created a sense of shared ownership. When the project was completed successfully, the celebration felt more collective than individual—a testament to the power of emotional intelligence in fostering unity. Lesson 4: Recognition fuels motivation and strengthens connections within teams. Closing Thoughts Emotional intelligence is the bridge between leadership and humanity. To be continued...

I once cried in front of my CEO. Not from weakness, but because I cared too much. Most leaders think emotions get in the way. The truth is they’re data. Ignore them, and you miss the signal. I learned that the hard way. Years ago, I broke down crying in front of my CEO. I was frustrated, exhausted, and holding too much. His response? He told me to “find a cause outside of work to care so much about.” At the time, it stung. But later, I realized: that moment was data. My frustration was telling me something was deeply misaligned. That experience transformed the way I manage up: ➝ I stopped hiding my emotions. ➝ I started decoding them. ➝ And I used them to have braver, clearer strategic conversations with leaders. Here’s how you can do the same: 1. Name it → Say, “I’m noticing I feel tense about this.” It sharpens your decisions. 2. Reframe it → “This anger is pointing me toward what needs to change.” 3. Show it wisely → Calm, steady energy builds trust more than silence or explosions. 4. Pause the room → Start a meeting with one deep breath or a quick check-in. 5. Ask the signal → “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” What not to do: ✘ Hide it → people see through it, and trust fades. ✘ Blow up → it shuts people down. ✘ Pretend emotions don’t matter → they always leak into the room. Emotions aren’t weakness. They’re leadership data. Next time you feel something strong, don’t push it away. Pause. Decode it. Use it. That’s how you make better decisions and build trust at the same time. ♻️ Share to help others decode emotional data ➕ Follow Loren Rosario - Maldonado, PCC for more human centered shifts

You can't lead the room if you can't read it. I learned that the hard way early in my career. It happened during a billing meeting with a CFO. It was a pretty standard process, but during the presentation, he interrupted to raise a concern about our work. I heard him, told him we'd look into it, and went right back to my agenda. But this client wasn't someone who hid his emotions. As I kept speaking, I saw he was getting more and more irritated. Eventually, we adjourned the meeting, and a Partner who was sitting in pulled me aside. He asked me, "Did you realize what was going on?" I did, but because I was nervous, my system went into protection mode. I missed key signals, and once I did pick up on them, I didn't know how to adjust. That day, I learned how important it is to have emotional intelligence, and the strategies I can rely on when it counts. And now I help other leaders develop the same skill. Here are the traits that are most important: 1️⃣ Actively seek other people's perspectives. ↳ Ask, "Can you explain your side of things?" especially when stakes are high. 2️⃣ Give your full attention in conversations. ↳ Close your laptop and give eye contact. People can tell when you're present or not. 3️⃣ Read the room and adjust when energy or priorities shift. ↳ Notice any tensions in the room and pause to address what's actually important. 4️⃣ Adapt your communication style to the needs of different people. ↳ Tailor your approach. Give big picture summaries to some, detailed plans to others. 5️⃣ Notice and regulate your own emotions under pressure. ↳ Name what you're feeling and choose your response appropriately. 6️⃣ Turn difficult conversations into clearer alignment. ↳ Focus on shared goals. Make it clear you're both working toward the same outcome. 7️⃣ Share ownership and responsibility instead of trying to do everything. ↳ Trust your team's judgment and ask what support they need. 8️⃣ Inspire willing followership instead of compliance. ↳ Explain the "why" behind decisions and invite any pushback. Emotional intelligence isn't something you either have or don't. It's something you build through practice, making mistakes, and learning from them. The more you build that skill, the easier it is to navigate tough situations. Which one of these traits is most important to you? For more posts on developing your leadership, follow Clif Mathews. ---- 📨 Every week, 6,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief. Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief 🔁 Repost to help other leaders recognize what great EQ looks like.

I got to train 75 managers in how to hold Tough Conversations and how to Lead with Emotional Intelligence this week. One of the hardest moments they identified was when a team member shared a situation with a strong emotion like, 💬 "I just applied for a promotion and didn't get it again." or 💬"I've been waiting for 6 months for a development opportunity and am still waiting." or 💬"I'm struggling with personal challenges at home." The initial reaction was to want to say, "How can I help you navigate this?" or "How can I support?" These are great responses motivated to 1) help the person and 2) find a solution. But, people feel relief not because of what you do but because of the connection you make with them. In fact, jumping to a solution without acknowledging how they're feeling can intensify the feelings of being misunderstood or not supported. This is where empathy is so powerful. By taking a moment to make a statement to acknowledge the person's emotion they are feeling in the situation, we can help them feel seen, heard, and connected to. This might sound like, 💬"That's a really frustrating situation. I know how hard it is to go after an opportunity and not get it." or 💬"I know how much work you've put in to be selected for this opportunity. I'm sorry you haven't gotten the result you wanted." or 💬"I'd love to hear more. Are you willing to share with me about your situation?" By identifying with someone's emotion or asking questions to give them space to share how they're feeling, we create connection, build trust, show them support, and can help de-escalate the feelings they are experiencing. Do you have any tips for expressing empathy when a team member shares a hard situation or emotion? #leadershipdevelopment #emotionalintelligence #empathy

I still remember the moment everything shifted. A team member left a meeting quiet, frustrated — not because of the work, but because of how I handled the conversation. It wasn’t a performance issue. It was a leadership issue — and the problem was me. That’s when I realised: The most powerful leadership skill isn’t strategy, vision, or charisma. It’s emotional intelligence. To lead effectively, you must master four core dimensions of Emotional Intelligence: 1️⃣ Self-Awareness — understand yourself first Ask yourself daily: → What emotion drove my decisions today? → How did my behaviour impact others? 2️⃣ Self-Regulation — pause before you react →Leaders aren’t measured by how they perform when things are smooth — but how they respond when emotions spike. Breathe. Observe. Then speak. 3️⃣ Social Awareness — read the room → Pay attention to tone, body language, energy shifts, and silence. → Often, what’s unsaid tells you more than what’s spoken. 4️⃣ Relationship Management — lead through connection Great leaders build trust through consistent presence, empathy, and accountability. You don’t command commitment — you earn it. Mastering emotional intelligence doesn’t just make you a better leader. It makes you someone people want to follow — not because they have to, but because they trust you. Which one of these four EI dimensions will you focus on developing? ♻ Share this with your network if it resonates. ☝ And follow Stuart Andrews for more insights like this.

We talk a lot about vision, strategy, and execution. But there’s a set of skills that often gets overlooked: Emotional intelligence. And yet, it’s been a common thread in every great leader that I’ve had the privilege of working with. Because in the middle of tight deadlines, rising tension, and fast-moving decisions… What tends to set trusted leaders apart is how they handle people. (Yes, including themselves). Here are 8 small habits that can help build  emotional intelligence at work: 1. Notice your triggers ↳ What consistently frustrates or drains you?  That’s where your self-awareness begins. 2. Pause before reacting ↳ Even a brief pause can shift you from  reactive to intentional. 3. Listen with curiosity ↳ Instead of planning your reply, ask one  more question. 4. Label what you feel ↳ Naming emotions helps you manage them  (and teaches your team to do the same). 5. Own your impact ↳ Decisions affect people. Check in.  Ask how they’re doing. 6. Stay open-minded ↳ Especially when you don’t agree.  That’s where growth happens. 7. Practice empathy daily ↳ Assume there’s more going on beneath  the surface and lead accordingly. 8. Ask for feedback ↳ Not just on results but on how you show up. Take your time: Emotional intelligence is a muscle. And like any muscle, you build it through reps. By listening. Reflecting. Pausing. Every interaction is a chance to stretch it. Every moment is a rep. So keep showing up. Because strong leadership doesn’t start with strategy. It starts from within. ♻️ If this resonates, repost for your network. 📌 Follow Amy Gibson for more leadership insights.

The conversation that changed how I think about emotions wasn't the one I expected. Someone asked me when I last felt my feelings instead of just managing them. I couldn't answer. Because somewhere along the way, I'd gotten so good at staying composed that I forgot to actually feel. Maybe you can relate. The constant push to be the steady leader. To have answers. To keep the team moving forward no matter what. But here's what I've discovered: Real emotional intelligence isn't just about controlling emotions. It's about understanding them first. Controlling your responses. And helping others do the same. Here are 8 ways to build real emotional intelligence: 1. Notice your patterns Track what triggers you during high-stakes moments. When do you feel energized? Depleted? Reactive? Understanding your patterns helps you lead better. 2. Name what you're feeling Replace "I'm fine" with what's actually true. Are you frustrated? Excited? Overwhelmed? Clarity starts with honest labeling. 3. Build in buffer time When tensions rise, count to six before responding. Those six seconds can transform a reaction into a thoughtful response. 4. Protect your energy Schedule tough conversations when you're at your best. Leading through conflict takes more bandwidth than most leaders realize. 5. Listen without solving This is the hardest for me and something I work on every day... Sometimes your team just needs to be heard. Let them share fully before offering solutions. Trust builds in these moments. 6. Read the room Watch for what's not being said in meetings. Crossed arms, silence, sudden energy shifts… these signals matter as much as words. 7. Ask questions that matter "What do you need from me?" beats assumptions. "Help me understand your perspective" opens doors. Real leadership happens in these exchanges. 8. Think beyond your view Before big decisions, consider the ripple effects. How will this land with your team? Your clients? Great leaders think in circles, not straight lines. The truth about emotional intelligence? It's not about being less human. It's about being more connected. Because when leaders understand their own emotions, they create cultures where others can thrive. And that's how you build something extraordinary. 📌 Save this for when emotions run high. ♻️ Repost if this resonates with your leadership journey. 👉 Follow Desiree Gruber for more insights on storytelling, leadership, and brand building.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. Comfort. Time. Income. Maybe even some opportunities that looked good on paper but felt wrong in your gut. And here's what nobody tells you: 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬. It's oversharing in meetings. It's confusing bluntness with bravery. It's being "real" in ways that burn bridges instead of building trust. This week, I'm breaking down what authenticity with high EQ actually requires—and why most people stop before they get to the good part. 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐮𝐩: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. And I mean really know yourself—not just your values, but your triggers, your patterns, the stories you've been telling yourself about who you need to be to belong, to succeed, to be taken seriously. Self-awareness is the foundation. Because if you don't know what's driving your reactions, you can't regulate them. And if you can't regulate them, authenticity becomes reactivity. Here's what self-awareness looks like in practice: 👉🏾 Recognizing when you're about to respond defensively—and pausing. 👉🏾Knowing which feedback lands as constructive and which lands as criticism (and why). 👉🏾Understanding what environments bring out your best self vs. what spaces drain you. Without this work, you're just winging it. And "winging it" might feel authentic, but it's not effective. While you're out here flappin' your wings, you're giving folks whiplash! 𝐒𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩? For me, it's recognizing when I'm speaking from clarity vs. when I'm speaking from frustration. Both feel true in the moment. But only one builds trust. Drop your answer in the comments—I'd love to hear what you're learning about yourself. #emotionalIntelligence #leadership #candidcorporateclinician

People with emotionally intelligent managers are 4X less likely to leave their jobs. But here's what nobody tells you: Most managers never learned these skills. I spent 10 years studying emotional intelligence. Here are the 7 elements that transform average managers into great leaders: 1. Being Self-Aware Understand your triggers and how they impact others. When you know your blind spots, you can work on them. 2. Recognizing Emotions Learn to read what's not being said. Your team speaks volumes through their actions and energy. 3. Pausing Before Reacting That difficult conversation or challenging email? Give yourself time to respond, not react. 4. Showing Empathy When someone on your team seems off, ask why. Sometimes the best leadership move is just listening. 5. Managing Stress Your calm during chaos matters more than your words. Teams mirror their leader's energy. 6. Motivating Yourself The voice in your head sets the tone for your team. Make it one that inspires growth, not fear. 7. Building Relationships Trust isn't built in big moments. It's built in small interactions, day after day. Here's what I've learned: Technical skills might get you the position, but EQ helps you keep your best people. The good news? These skills can be learned. They can be practiced. They can transform your leadership. I wish someone had taught me this 20 years ago. Your team deserves a leader who gets it. What skill do you think matters most? ♻️ Find this valuable? Repost to share it. 🔖 Follow Justin Wright for more on leadership. Want my 70 best cheat sheets? Get them free here: BrillianceBrief.com

𝙀𝙌: 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙇𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙚 𝙈𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙧 – 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝘼𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 Not long ago, I was asked to coach a leader who was widely regarded as highly intelligent but struggled to deliver results. When I spoke with his team, they acknowledged his expertise but described a gap in leadership skills. This is a common scenario: we often focus on IQ while overlooking EQ—the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence emotions, both your own and others’. In reality, emotional intelligence is a powerful differentiator in leadership success. Leaders with high EQ build trust, motivate teams, and navigate challenges more effectively. Here are three actions leaders can take to leverage EQ as a force multiplier: 1. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 – Pay full attention to what your team is saying, ask clarifying questions, and reflect back understanding. This builds trust and connection. 2. 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 – Recognize your triggers, regulate your responses, and model composure in high-pressure situations. Your team will mirror your behavior. 3. 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 – Seek to understand others’ perspectives, validate their experiences, and adapt your approach to support their growth and engagement. By cultivating emotional intelligence, leaders don’t just manage teams—they inspire, influence, and accelerate performance. ––– If this resonates with you, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 this post. 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 me, Diane M., for more. #EQInLeadership #PeopleLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Culture