It takes one minute to damage a career you spent 30 years building. Because success isn’t about skill or intelligence. It’s about emotional regulation. Exercising restraint instead of: → Engaging in a heated debate with a client. → Exchanging a sharp word with a colleague. → Sending an angry email in the heat of the moment. The second you lose control, you’ve lost. Emotional regulation is the biggest marker of career success. The good news is it’s a muscle you can build. Here's how: 1. Know Your Triggers → Identify what sets you off. → Do you feel threatened when criticised? → Awareness is the first step to control. 2. Hit Pause → Before reacting, ask yourself: What are the consequences of my move? → Regret minimisation is critical. 3. Reframe the Experience → What else could this mean? → Maybe the person was having a bad day. → Chose an interpretation that serves you. 4. Create a Delay on Emails Sent → Set a 10-minute delay on all outgoing emails. → This in and of itself could save your career. 5. Breathe → When emotions rise, take three slow breaths. → It signals your nervous system to reset. → Simple, but powerful. 6. Speak With Emotional Intelligence → Once you’re ready to respond, choose your words carefully. → Ask: How can I create the right outcome in a calm way? Remember: → If you choose restraint, you win. → If you reframe, you grow. And every time you stay in control, you keep your power. How important do you think emotional regulation is for career success? ---- ☀️Follow Deena Priest for career, leadership and personal development insights.
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It’s simple math 🧐 I use to think that motivation was the key to monumental success. Long story short, it’s not. It’s about the little things you do every day that will take you from reasonable to slightly unreasonable to completely unreasonable progress. Your future is not defined by how motivated you are, but by your daily routines and systems. I believe in this so much that we named our company Butterfly 3ffect to reflect the value of incremental gains. we believe that that’s how the best people and brands grow. Here’s how you grow the small way: 1. Start by setting achievable goals, like reading one chapter of a book each day or going for a short walk 2. Practice gratitude by writing down three things you're thankful for every night before bed 3. Engage in daily self-reflection, even if it's just for a few minutes, to assess your thoughts and actions 4. Incorporate small acts of kindness into your daily routine, like holding the door for someone or offering a genuine compliment 5. Learn something new every day, whether it's a fun fact, a new word, or a new skill 6. Prioritise self-care by getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and taking breaks when needed 7. Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it's uplifting books, supportive friends, or inspiring podcasts 8. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and a stepping stone to growth 9. Stay consistent and patient, knowing that small progress over time adds up to significant improvement 10. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, to stay motivated and encouraged along the way.
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You’ve probably heard of the term “Circle of Influence.” But did you know there’s also a “Circle of Control” and a “Circle of Concern?” If you want to be successful, it is essential to understand all three. Stephen Covey has helped us with a lot of insightful ideas, concepts and models. One of them is the Circle of Influence Model, also known as the CIA model along the three main actions resulting from it: Control, Influence, Accept. It distinguish three types of issues or worries that you may have and that ask for a different response: The Circle of CONTROL → Control Key question: is it in my control? Description: the factors that are directly within your control. They mainly concern you personally, and you (and often only you) can change them. Examples: thoughts, behaviors, mindset, actions, skills, mistakes Response: direct most of your time and energy to these factors, this will minimize feelings of overwhelm and makes you feel in control. The Circle of INFLUENCE → Influence Key question: if it’s not in my control, can I exert influence in it? Description: factors involving other people or situations that you can interact with but that you can only partially affect. Examples: relationships, commitments, job, roles, positions Response: focus on those factors that you have most influence on and accept the factors on which your influence is limited. The Circle of CONCERNS → Accept Key question: If I can’t control or influence it, can I accept it? Description: the factors outside your control. They affect you and they may concern you, but you can’t do something about them. Examples: weather, economy, war, legislation, virus outbreak Response: let go and accept that you can not directly do something about them. Focus on what you can influence and control. The categories are not fixed and they depend on your position. What is merely in the Circle of Concern of most people, such as the economy for example, is in the Circle of Influence of politicians. This means that the Three Circles of Influence look different for every individual person. But exactly that makes it such a powerful model. Because you can immediately apply it to yourself, or to your team or organization. One way to do this smartly is to make an inventory of all issues and topics you are currently concerned about; that you worry about and keep your head busy. Once you have the list you can then categorize them in the three categories and follow the brief recommendations given above. The main effect this should have is that you feel more in control and spend your time more effectively on those factors where you can actually make a difference. Do you spend your time and energy on the right factors? → Join my community and subscribe to my Soulful Strategy newsletter here: https://lnkd.in/e_ytzAgU #decisionmaking #changemanagement #growthmindset
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In 2008, Michael Phelps won Olympic GOLD - completely blind. The moment he dove in, his goggles filled with water. But he kept swimming. Most swimmers would’ve fallen apart. Phelps didn’t - because he had trained for chaos, hundreds of times. His coach, Bob Bowman, would break his goggles, remove clocks, exhaust him deliberately. Why? Because when you train under stress, performance becomes instinct. Psychologists call this stress inoculation. When you expose yourself to small, manageable stress: - Your amygdala (fear centre) becomes less reactive. - Your prefrontal cortex (logic centre) stays calmer under pressure. Phelps had rehearsed swimming blind so often that it felt normal. He knew the stroke count. He hit the wall without seeing it. And won GOLD by 0.01 seconds. The same science is why: - Navy SEALs tie their hands and practice underwater survival. - Astronauts simulate system failures in zero gravity. - Emergency responders train inside burning buildings. And you can build it too. Here’s how: ✅ Expose yourself to small discomforts. Take cold showers. Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Speak up in meetings. The goal is to build confidence that you can handle hard things. ✅ Use quick stress resets. Try cyclic sighing: Inhale deeply through your nose. Take a second small inhale. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat 3-5 times to calm your system fast. ✅ Strengthen emotional endurance. Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, hard tasks, or feedback - lean into them. Facing small emotional challenges trains you for bigger ones later. ✅ Celebrate small victories. Every time you stay calm, adapt, or keep going under pressure - recognise it. These tiny wins are building your mental "muscle memory" for resilience. As a new parent, I know my son Krish will face his own "goggles-filled-with-water" moments someday. So the best I can do is model resilience myself. Because resilience isn’t gifted - it’s trained. And when you train your brain for chaos, you can survive anything. So I hope you do the same. If this made you pause, feel free to repost and share the thought. #healthandwellness #mentalhealth #stress
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🏃♀️ Imagine a study on marathon performance that doesn't mention some runners are carrying 50-pound backpacks. That's the 2025 Women in the Workplace report from Mckinsey and LeanIn 60 pages on why women "want promotions less." Zero mentions of childcare, eldercare, or the invisible second shift. Their own data shows women and men are equally committed to their careers, over 90% on every measure. Young women under 30 has even more ambitious than young men. Latinas are the most ambitious group in the entire study. 🤔 So where does this "ambition gap" come from? Buried on page 10, in a small box, they note that women who decline promotion cite "personal obligations" at nearly double the rate of men. Then they move on. No follow-up. No analysis. No asking the obvious question: What are these "personal obligations"? 💔 I'll tell you what they are. 👉 They're the 2am feeding before your 8am presentation. 👉 The school pickup that can't be rescheduled. 👉 The elderly parent who needs a doctor's appointment during your board meeting. 👉 The mental load of remembering everyone's everything while being told you "lack ambition." The report measured ambition without measuring the invisible infrastructure women are running at home. 👉 Here's what the report should have asked: ⁉️ Do women with equal childcare support want promotions at the same rate as men? ⁉️ Do women with flexible work arrangements show the same career drive? ⁉️ Does the "ambition gap" exist in countries with subsidized childcare? (Spoiler: Research says no, no, and no.) Instead, they concluded women are less ambitious and moved on to solutions that don't address the actual problem. This isn't just a missed opportunity. It's a misdirection! ❌ Because when you diagnose "ambition gap" instead of "care gap," you get solutions like "women need more confidence" instead of "workplaces need to stop penalizing caregiving." You get women blamed for systemic failures. 📊 Here's what an honest report would say: ✅ Women aren't less ambitious. They're doing two jobs while being evaluated as if they're doing one. ✅ The workplace wasn't designed for people with caregiving responsibilities. It was designed for people with wives. ✅ Until we redesign the system, we'll keep "discovering" that women don't want what men want, when really, women just can't afford what men take for granted. That's exactly why we built "From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader", because the women I work with aren't lacking ambition. They're lacking a system that sees their full contribution. Next cohort starts end of Jan 2026. 👉 Join the waitlist: https://lnkd.in/gx7CpGGR 👊 Because women don't have an ambition problem. The workplace has a measurement problem, and it starts with reports that count everything except what actually matters.
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Lessons I have learnt so far as a woman entrepreneur We all accumulate lessons through career pivots, late nights, setbacks, and honest self-reflection. Here are principles that have shaped my journey, ones I hope every professional, especially women, will keep close in today’s world: 🔹Prioritize Financial Independence. Financial security is not only about independence, but also empowerment and options. It’s important to distinguish real security from mere comfort. True strength is having the ability to walk away when your peace or values demand it. 🔹Value What You’ve Earned. Aspiring for a high standard of living reflects your self-worth and ambition, not superficiality. Never feel apologetic for desiring a life that aligns with your hard work and dedication. 🔹Embrace New Beginnings, As Many Times As Needed. Reinvention is a sign of growth, not failure. Others may have opinions, but your journey should reflect your own aspirations, not limitations set by fear or judgment. 🔹 Care for Yourself to Sustain Others. Consistently supporting those around you requires you to be well, too. Make time for healing and self-care, strength is found in balance, not burnout. 🔹Build a Circle Based on Loyalty and Values. Relationships, whether professional or personal, are about quality, not quantity. Surround yourself with people who encourage growth, offer honest feedback, and value loyalty over simple proximity. 🔹Discipline Over Drama. Sustained success stems from consistent, intentional action—not from chaos or unpredictability. Let reliability and focus be your brand. 🔹Allow Results to Speak for Themselves. There’s no need to constantly prove yourself to skeptics. Exceptional outcomes and a strong work ethic will always reveal your potential. 🔹 Invest in Substance Over Surface. Skills, strategy, and self-respect far outlast short-term recognition. Prioritize development and preparation over mere appearances. 🔹Trust Your Own Timeline. Progress is personal and non-linear. Achievements, relationships, and healing each have their own pace. Blocking out comparison and external noise is essential to staying true to your path. What would you add to this list? I’d love to hear the principles shaping your story. #WomenEntrepreneur #LeadershipLessons #CareerGrowth #GrowthMindset
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If your one-on-ones are primarily status updates, you're missing a massive opportunity to build trust, develop talent, and drive real results. After working with countless leadership teams across industries, I've found that the most effective managers approach 1:1s with a fundamentally different mindset... They see these meetings as investments in people, not project tracking sessions. Great 1:1s focus on these three elements: 1. Support: Create space for authentic conversations about challenges, both professional and personal. When people feel safe discussing real obstacles, you can actually help remove them. Questions to try: "What's currently making your job harder than it needs to be?" "Where could you use more support from me?" 2. Growth: Use 1:1s to understand aspirations and build development paths. People who see a future with your team invest more deeply in the present. Questions to explore: "What skills would you like to develop in the next six months?" "What parts of your role energize you most?" 3. Alignment: Help team members connect their daily work to larger purpose and meaning. People work harder when they understand the "why" behind tasks. Questions that create alignment: "How clear is the connection between your work and our team's priorities?" "What part of our mission resonates most with you personally?" By focusing less on immediate work outputs and more on the human doing the work, you'll actually see better performance, retention, and results. Check out my newsletter for more insights here: https://lnkd.in/ei_uQjju #executiverecruiter #eliterecruiter #jobmarket2025 #profoliosai #resume #jobstrategy #leadershipdevelopment #teammanagement
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I've delivered 500+ keynotes. Here's a pro-tip for speaking/presenting. Your pre-performance ritual isn't optional. It's essential. The difference between good and transformational always comes down to those final 15 minutes. HERE'S MY NON-NEGOTIABLE RITUAL: T-minus 30 minutes: Tech check complete. No more logistics. T-minus 15 minutes: Complete isolation begins. This is when I start programming my nervous system for peak state. T-minus 10 minutes: Active preparation. I pace backstage, repeating my opening lines until they're cellular: "Change itself has changed..." "When we think about transformation..." "Let me tell you about the moment..." T-minus 5 minutes: Full state activation. No conversations. No distractions. Just presence. Why this matters: Your opening determines everything. If those first 30 seconds land perfectly, you're in flow for the entire presentation. If they don't, you spend 10 minutes trying to find your rhythm. THE SCIENCE: Your prefrontal cortex can hold 7±2 pieces of information. Your opening sequence needs all of that bandwidth. A "quick chat" deletes 3-4 of those slots. Now you're on stage trying to REMEMBER your opening instead of BEING it. FOR SPEAKERS/PRESENTERS: Protect your ritual. Write it into your contract: "15-minute isolation period before stage time required for optimal performance." This isn't being difficult. It's being professional. FOR THOSE HIRING SPEAKERS: Want maximum impact? Give us space to create it. We're not being antisocial. We're preparing to transform your audience. Think of us like athletes before a game or surgeons before surgery. The ritual isn't preference, it's preparation. THE FRAMEWORK: 1. Decide your optimal activation time (10-30 minutes) 2. Communicate boundaries clearly and early 3. Design your ritual for YOUR nervous system 4. Practice until it's automatic 5. Never apologize for protecting your performance Your boundaries aren't limitations. They're the architecture of excellence. What pre-performance ritual would unlock your next level?
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As a psychologist, I’ve had the privilege of working with top athletes, actors, and corporate leaders at the peak of their game. And yet—despite the accolades, despite the success—there’s a common thread I see far too often: They believe that the next achievement will finally silence the voice that whispers, “You’re not enough.” But it never does. Why? Because ambition that’s rooted in inadequacy is a bottomless pit. No matter how much you pour in, it never fills. True ambition isn’t about proving your worth. It’s about knowing you already have it. After years of working closely with high performers, I’ve noticed something powerful: The most fulfilled individuals don’t chase worthiness. They operate from it. And they live by three core principles: They chase mastery, not approval: If your goal is to silence self-doubt with success, it will never work. The inner critic doesn't quiet down. It just raises the bar. But when you focus on mastery for its own sake, success stops being a desperate pursuit and starts being a natural result. They practice ruthless self-respect: Not indulgent self-care. Ruthless self-respect. The kind that refuses to let self-criticism run wild. They don't allow themselves to be treated poorly, especially by their own thoughts. They measure progress by their own growth, not by others' success: Comparison is a losing game. There will always be someone ahead, always a new level to chase. But the moment you shift your focus inward—to your evolution and your growth—you take control of the game. Ambition isn't the problem. But when it comes from a place of emptiness, it will consume you. When it comes from a place of inherent worthiness and true desire, it will elevate you. So ask yourself: Is my ambition building me up or breaking me down? That answer will determine whether ambition becomes your greatest strength or an endless trap. #psychology #success #mindset #learning #growth
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Productivity looks impressive on a dashboard. Responsibility builds something deeper. Over time, I have learnt that hitting targets is not the same as taking ownership. You can have a team that delivers every metric and still misses the mark. Because real growth does not come from doing more. It comes from doing what matters and owning it completely. Responsibility shows up in the quiet moments. When someone stays late to fix a mistake no one else saw. When a client issue is resolved without it ever becoming an escalation. When team members hold themselves accountable without being asked. Productivity asks, “Did we finish the work?” Responsibility asks, “Did we care enough to do it right?” One builds short-term wins. The other builds long-term culture. So yes, I value productivity. But what I build for is responsibility. That is what sustains everything else. #Productivity #Strategy #Culture #Leadership
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